Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
