Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize