Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
