he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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