I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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