last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
