how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
