Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i out mim tonsoeep
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