i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
