Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
