He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need to align my fucking chakras
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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