If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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