Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My ATM looks so different sober.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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