I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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