i just google imaged poop.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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