If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
