these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
