I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
