We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
