fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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