Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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