Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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