youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
worst night to have a conscience
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
