All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
