Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
