Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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