I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
