I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
