He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
