If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
