even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
