with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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