Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
