he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
