Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Two words: nipple clamps
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