Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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