now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
