Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
