Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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