That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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