I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
there is glitter all over my balls
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