ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
