i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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