And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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