Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ugly people sure do ruin things
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize