Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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