I'm lost and stupid without you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
