Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
