Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
