I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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