About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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