Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
