There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
this is an emotional support booty call
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
