therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
