So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
