It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize