I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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