I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
