I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
