shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I faked an abortion last night.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
