So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
