lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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