I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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