can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
