Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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