I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
