i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
